Boys will be boys 2..

GIRL'S VIEW...

A girl was scrolling on friendster.. and she found...
a Profile..
















Girl thought: Wow.. it's a cute guy.. i will
add him to my msn.. and chat with him..

The girl finally meets this cute guy..
On msn..

THE CUTE GUY.. and his view..

Guy: Ah.. Time to chat with all the cute girls..
who add me on msn..




















































...........................
...........................
..........................
..........................
.........................
...........................
..........................

I present to you the cute guy...

Inspirational cards that i've made..

These are the inspirational cards that i've made..

More coming soon..

Butt.. Code..

I had a poster..

This is the jeans poster..














But then after a week later.. when the sun shined.. something
was revealed..

Signs 2...

I've create new signs.. That sometimes we may
wanna use but never see anyone selling.. it..




















This sign is quite useful especially on a day when
we ate too much garlic.. to warn friends..

We boys will be boys..

BOY AFTER receiving a phone message from a girl he likes n knows for a short while:
"Yes!!!, She likes me!!!"

Calls his best pal: "You know what, I think she likes me, she got message me quite often.."

Calls his other best pal: "I only message her one message and she replied alot to me"...
"I even din message her, but she agreed, i think she got telepath.. "



FROM THE GIRL who sent an error message to her friend..
after a hard day's work..

Checked to see if her best friend has replied..

Girl: Oh! no...

A story about a mother in law, a son in law and a daughter in law..

Mother in law who came to visit her son in law from another place..

Mother in law: What's that and why did you buy it?
Son in law: Thats a new computer...

Mother in law:Computer, what's that..

Son in law:It can do many things, watch movie, calculate, listen to music, take digital photos..

Mother in law interupted: We can watch movie with tv, calculate using calculator, listen to music on the radio.. Just take photo with an the camera i gave both of you la..

Mother in law went to the kitchen..: wow!! Tomato cost $59.90 in your country... and after calculating foreign exhange.. it is $100 dollars la.. And how bout the gas... 19.90.. change to my country money.. is $40 la.. Tell my daughter later, don't put too much tomato sauce.. very expensive..

Son in law: it the price is 5.90..

We are the master.. ???

One day, me and a friend was sitting down.. eating..
A dog sit at our beside watching us.

Then he said...
The dog, starring at us.. HE'S maybe thinkin,
why are these other beings served food just
by sitting down.. and what are those big machines
they come out of.. So thats why i must stay close
to the humans to get food too, nge nge nge..

My sis was just now talking to me.. we saw a scene in
tv that a guy was stripping for 2000 dollars..

She thinks it's ok la.. becoz just like go swimming la..
Swimming go and wear underwear no one pays.. hahha..

The useful signs that might come useful..

These are the first two signs that i've create.. Soon there will be more..





Sometimes, there may not be water, so you this sign comes in handy to warn your friends that there will be a very concentrated smell that might deter you from eating your favorite lunch...















This sign is especially good for anyone who wants to tell a potential partner that they are in need of a place to stay, 3 meals provision, so on.. hahaha..

WHen humans get satisfied..

This is the continuation part of
hUMANS ARE SATISFIED PART 2..

I WAS THINKING.. when humans will be satisfied..
And it was so ...








And it came to me that animals never complained..





What you think we satisfied?
Actually, you don't understand
what we saying la, but we got
lots of things that wanna complain..





MY theory: If everyone had the same
thought.. liked the same things, then
humans will be somewhat satisfied..
But then the only problem is if everyone had the
same thought.. What type of same thought
would it be..

If everyone love red, the whole big world would be red in color.. no one need to compete with each other, everyone had the same hair style, the same looking house, the same looking car, the same looking shoes, the same looking shirt, etc.. etc..

HMM.. Never worry about book errors anymore..

HMM.. i know.. sometimes, friends borrow books
and then when you get it back then you don't really
know how many errors there really is.. SO HOW AR???

I found an advertisement
























With the book error detection device, we can install
on the book, any small errors are calculated and then
u can sum it all up and ask your friend to pay for the damage..

Coffee spills: $5
Cockroach odor: $5
Tears: $50 cents per tear
Discoloring: $5

How to be a horror movie hero..

This entry is for you if..

1. you want to show off that you are not
even afraid of horror movies
2. If you fantaize about being hug.. *Ah the hug*

Have you been in the cinema, watching
a movie, then scream.. so loud..
Have you been in the cinema, where
aftter you watch watchhh... SCARY MOVIE..
and you feel like there is a hand in
the popcorn and the pop corn fall ..

Not to worry.. Me is here..

0= Tip: Watch a horror movie onces.. why? =0
So that the next time you watch it, you won't feel afraid..
becoz you know what comes out next..

0= Tip 2: When there a blood scenes..
Think of it as tomato.. = 0

0= Tip 3: When the bad guy chases the
victim, why is it the director is still there
filming, isn't it, he needs to be runnin..? = 0

0= Tip 4: The monster is just in the brain,
THAT'S AN ACTOR.. AN ACTOR.. =0

With these tips, you can come out a hero in
any horror movie...

If else fails, it's better not to watch
horror movies.. hehehe..

FIFA CAVEMEN 2006 B.c

NOTE: ALL OF WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THIS BLOG IS NOT THE REALITY OF THE ORIGINS OF FOOTBALL

The evidence found, this has been carved
in a rock that i found. And i took about finding
the truth about it. After weeks of reserch,
THE TRUTH IS OUT. I am here to share
with you the truth.

I CALLED THIS PROJECT:
WHY CAVEMEN LOVE BETTING SO MUCH,
N CAVE WOMEN LOVE SEXY TALL CAVEMEN.

CAVEMEN DICTIONARYwork:
HUNTING, FISHING, BETTING




The husband goes home from
workHe goes into the hut..
WIFE: WHY NOTHING
FROM YOUR HUNTING?

HUSBAND: I lost all
our meat on bets.. 15 meat lost.

WIfe: WHAT THE F00t???
Bet does not exist till the
modern 20th century in the future.

WIFE: YOU!!! you!!! noW
nothing to eat.. what you do??

Husband: THIS IS WHAT HAPPEN












YOU SEE, me n me cave buddy were walking to hunt..
and then later. While cavebuddy.. was under a tree
waiting.. An orange dropped.. on his head..

N he got quite pissed.. He had just made his hair stlye
at the latest trendiest cavemen saloon n now it's ruined... He had a date.

It cost 15 meat.
And he decided to kick the orange fruit..













































This is the earliest origins of football.
Sometimes coconuts that fall on the ground are being kicked.
and when it hits another person head, now known as a
header, That guy gets angry and kicks it back, now known
as a pass. And so that's how football evolved. People just
never had enough revenge on one another.

Or if durians fell, nothing happen, becoz the cavemen go to cave clinic.

So cave hubby told CAVE BUDDY: OH, buddy, I will
tell my wife bout me betting withyou on who shoots the
bird game, and then you can make up your hair stlye again.

THE GAME: Who shoots the bird first. A game where
there are many cavemen line up and all will use a shooting
tool to shoot a bird. Who shoots the bird first will win
THE BLING BLING.

This is the earliest ORIGINS in betting.
Sometimes people lost and use the weapon to shoot
at another person for winning. And stole his winnings..

THE WIFE: oh!! It was your hunky buddy that you
were helping... It's ok.. We can go hunting again...























This is the earliest origins of admiring sexy tall cavemen...
And since that day on, Cavewomen only went to soccer
matches to watch sexy HAIRY TALL CAVE ORANGE PLAYERS
PLAY...The sexiest cave players were the ones that had
lots of body hair...

IN CAVE HUBBY MIND: actually i did lose all that meat in d bet.

Why poops have shapes...

Last week Jo made this comment on one of the blogs..

Jo: U only explain the poo poo sign..what about the rest out of shapes ah..
I was thinking, and decided to give the explaination..
First, this is the intestine..

The poop is passing through it..

There might be some corn..

There are two types of situation that can be seen.

LET'S HAVE JOHN.. he eat's lots of fibers, lots of water, excercise often.
Then Nature calls, John needs to go to the toilet..

On coming out, since somewhere near the rectum is bit like a s shapeso the typical poop comes out s shape.

The poop shape depend on how an individual designs it..

HOW ABOUT another guy JONNY..
He loves meat, he never eats any veges and drinks soda all the time.

And so the poop does not come out, rot.. and stuck inside like a stuck pipethat no one can get into..

And so the marbles are born..

1942.. Somewhere before the japanese invaded..

A MAN: his charateristics: HE NEEDS TO use
his own toilet.. no matter what.. The only
place he uses his toilet is his house.. LET'S NAME THIS GUY.. JOHN..
1942.. A day later after the japanese invaded..

HIM (to his wife): The japanese have invaded,
I dont know what to do, No matter what,
i will never leave my toilet, I will cling to it..

WIFE: HONEY, WE GOT TO LEAVE, we can
use the jungle as a toilet.. We gotta hide..

HIM: NOO, I will stay.. The toilet has
my name on it...




















WIFE: ok, we hide at the forest near our house..

JAPANESE GETS CLOSE TO HIS HOUSE...

HIm and his wife went to hide in
the jungle.. near their house..

B4 going into the jungle..
They ate alot of food..

UNFORTUNATELY,
the bad thing was tht day due
to the japanese invation, the
hawker got frighten, and din't
cook the food hygenicly..

This is the mans favorite hawker stall..
and it has a clean track record..

THE man has got some chemical reaction,
NATURE CALLS..

MAN: I shall never do it here.. I need my toilet..

WIFE: but i see the japanese just in front
of our house.. I am frighten..


JUST MINUTES LATER...

BOOM..!!! boom boom.. !!!..PROOTT....

WIfe with panic on her face: oh... what was that.. are they bombs in our town..

MAN: sorry, it's my stomach.. IT WANTS TO BLOW..


MINUTES LATER..

MAN: I don need the toilet already, I just need my favorite pants..

THE TOILET ANGELS..

SHOULD WE PAY FOR THE TOILET services?

Everytime, when nature calls, we visit her...
BY THE WAY, in MALAYSIA where i am,
there is a 20 cents charge to going to the toilet..

They start work early in the morning,
but then the only bad thing, they face the toilet..
They guard the toilet.. THEY CLEAN THE MESS
THAT PEOPLE MAKE.. when the
toilet is spilt with poop.. on the floor..

And so THE toilet angels got to clean them up.. hai~
THe toilet smell is quite bad.. I wonder how they can even eat lunch..

SPEAKING OF THAT... I don know why,
sometimes,
people just take the PUBLIC toilet for granted...
They just ppooop on the floor, and sometimes,
do not even flush.. If at their house, they
keep their toilet so clean..

I think toilets should have alarms installed..
then if someone poop on the floor, An alarm will ring..
POOP ON FLOOR ALERT.. POOP ON FLOOR ALERT..







We should pay that 20 cents..

THE MOST EMBARRASING THING.. 1..

Before we talk about the first embarrasing thing..

hhmm.. guess, what it is?

Scientifically speaking, we got to do it 14 times a day, but i don't think that's possible..
There's a sound.. It can come from MALAYSIA, BRUNEI, ENGLAND, BRAZIL, JAPAN.. ETC.. I support ENGLAND, BRAZIL, JAPAN.. in the world cup..

YES.. D FART..

I've heard one case that went like this..
After a gal farted then, the boyfriend broke up with her..

But whyyy.. is the fart so undesirable.. haha.. That when we wanna fart, we gotta do it secretly..
And when people fart, we laugh..

IT JUST GAS.. that GOT SMELL..

But there are rules to farting too, These are the situations that i think one should not fart.. IT AINT POLITE..
1. If your a politician and your on a campaign..























2. If it's yo first date, there won't be a second..
3. If you are in a family reunion.. DINNER...
4. In a bus.. In an elevator..
5. In a car..

Some places to fart:
1. When a gal dislikes a guy who keeps on buggin her, just FART and he'll leave, but the problem is that he might tell everyone..

But it might backfire..

2. If you know you like to eat a certain food, BEFORE your friends has some, FART.. No mood to eat anymore, this is your time to eat..
3. If you are swimming..
4. If there's a customer keep on complaining bout somethings.. If your in trouble...
5. If everything sounds formal...
6. If you can't stand it..
7. If you have a record of farting with very small sound..

BREAK UP REASON NUMBER 1...

This is the first chapter of breakup number one that i know of.. and see of.. every day.. SHH!!! if you know your friend is like this, don't tell them..

NOTE: HAHA.. dont worry, this is just a joke idea, maybe a script.. but does not reflect on real people.. Just one of my ideas..

Initially, lovers meet...

The man is fit and muscular.. And the girl very slim..


D gal Mind: "HOT!" (NOt mean the guy, it's becoz, it's a hot day.. )

D guy: "SEXY", I feel sexy to attract this gal..

AND so after some while, they meet, date and got together..

They like each other..

The girl is pretty and the guy is handsome..


MONTHS WENT on.. They were happy together..
Something was changing.. IN D MIND OF THE GUY..

D guy: I've got this hot and sexy gal friend.. I don't think i neeed to excercise anymore..

AND SO NOW D GUY..


D Gal'S MIND: TOday, i was shocked, when i was shopping, i was looking at this fat guy and told all my friends about how fat that guy must be,

WHEN HE TURNED AROUND, IT WAS MY BOYFRIEND...

I think he's got pregnant..

What has happened while he went overseas to study..

THE 7 DEADLY BAD HABITS..

This morning, I went to this site... that i saw from my sister's blog.. and tried the 7 deadly Bad HABITS..

And this is what i got...



















Now i know my my bad habits are still acceptable.. Most of them scored medium..
But i guess, i got to be a harder worker..

The POOP..!!! ARE YOU HEALTHY???

Recently, i watched the OPRAH show.. The topic was interesting.. HEALTH..
There was one segment.. How to check if you got healthy poop..

The shape

Healthy






THE S SHAPE

THE L SHAPE












The J Shape










The P shape

UNHEALTHY

The MARBLES






If you are pooping marbles, then you got work to do.. This is a sign of constipation..
This is the sign of hours of sitting their at the toiletbowl with pain..

But sometimes, if you poop marbles, it's ok.. la.. I guess the're just undigested corn, or other round things..

WAYS TO PREVENT the MARBLES..

1. DRINK LOTS OF WATER...

2. EAT MORE HEALTHY.. MORE VEGETABLE
Note: MEAT ROTS in our intestine if we got no fibre..
3. EXCERCISE... no excuse.. You wanna have marbles?

IMPORTANT INFO: The average person goes to toilet to poop:
1 day once : Quite healthy
2 day once: NOT BAD still acceptable

MORE THAN THAT.. Its danger sign..

Don't trust your calculator?

I was sitting in the exam hall.. Waitin for the exam..

An Announcement: PLEASE CHECK ANYPLACE THAT YOU'VE GOT ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS, PLEASE HAND IT OVER, OR ELSE!!!.

Everyone started checking every place...

PLEASE CHECK IN YOUR CALCULATOR.. TO SEE IF THEIR ARE NOTES..








A calculator













This is the calculators behind..







I was wonderin, If the calculator was alive it would say "DON'T YOU TRUST ME ANYMORE?"..

I was quite amaze that my friends hadn't trust themselves well enough to know they hadn't brought any suspicious drug. UNLESS, They've got a friend like me who at the middle of the night, when they sleep well, i will stick at note behind their calculator... hahha..

The Word Ex..

On tv, Oprah had introduced the PRESIDENT Bill CLinton,
So my sis said, Since Clinton was not the President, he should
be called only by Bill Clinton,

I said, there are so many Bill Clinton's that by adding,
PRESIDENT, we know it's former Bill Clinton,

She demanded it to be FORMER PRESIDENT..

She said.. hai.. Like EX girlfriend,
Can't be called as girlfriend becoz it already passed.

I have nothing to say.. LOST..

The secrets behind this cd..

A few days ago, i borrowed my friends cd. The titles are 2, Micilaneous and Games.

This is the cd. Games.

This CD is not normal.
WHen i opened and checked what was inside.
There was nothing.

Oh actually, it was hidden. No wonder..

P***. Guess la.. haha.. Why would the contents be hidden..

But then when i looked at the cd carefully, there was..


LOOKING AT THE CD CAREFULLY...

The ones I've circled are the only two visible stains that can be seen. There are actually lots more stains. After playing the cd, later i popped it out, quickly washed my hands.

I think it was POP CORN.

I will never touch these cd again. Don't know where it's been. Why are there stains that look like germ CRIBS. haha..

Definition of a crib: A place to stay.

CAN STD pass on through C D? It's better not to take such risk. hahaha.. It got me thinking.

Got Problems...???

PUNCTUALITY PROBLEMS

Have you ever have friends that are always late, Always, late.. and they are always late..
I got one way you can solve this problem and you too can have punctual friends...

What you need?
Alarm clock, makes sure is your friends..
A chance to grab your friends watch..

The setup: Tommorrow, there is a meeting, at lets say 8 am , but your friend always comes at 9. One day before the day, go visit, and then...








The actual time : 10. 40 pm..

While your friend is in the toilet..
Something happened..







The Faktual time: Wait.. Faktual time.. Let me explain, Fake + Actual..
Your friend thinks it's actual but you know it's fake...

And the time is 11.00 PM, and on yours is 10. 40 pm..

Your friend comes back..
And be sure not to tell him, your hand was itchy..

By tommorrow, your friend will be 20 minutes earlier..
Unless your friend found that out..


Waller Pickers Eh..

Hmm.. You wanna make a thief's day bad, I've got one for you..
Buy a wallet that's cheap from the Night Market.. And then write a note in it..

If you wanna show your a computer expert who knows how to punk thiefs, use a note pad and type this...


Hmm.. Maybe you ask.. What if the one who picks your wallet dont know English, But one is is sure.. HE READS ONE THING: He's been pranked.. You can also use A piece of paper to write it..

The best situation to do this: Walk at a mega mall, and purposely drop your wallet..


WANNA BE A HERO..
Go to a local store near you and buy a fake real life looking lizard, or snake, or trantula..


Something that looks like that..

Place it at your lecturer's table.. And later when she see's it.. Go and get that lizard.. No one will go near a lizard that looks like that..


And pretend to get bitten.. haha.. This will make you a hero of the day..

Or if you wanna blackmail your cocky, showoff, always proud friend..

This is what you need..
A fake cockroach...
A place you've set up friends to get the camera rolling.. Either by phone, or hidden camera..

Then ask this friend out on a tea date.. And then later..

RECORD THE LOOK.. Your friend will never be the same again..

Things i owe my friends...

It's been 4 sems and one Summer course that I've been in Uni..

I looked at it and just realised i owe my friends stuff..





I think i owe 2 books, and 15 cds..
Oh.. the one on the top with a man wearing
a red shirt, that is MINE..











This Cd, I wanted to burn for one of my Lecturers a game, but procastinated until now.. haha..











And this DVD, My friend borrowed it from his friend.. No wonder we know now why is it that sometimes, we receive our money so slow. Our friends borrow to their friend who hasn't given him back yet..


And so I thought of an IDEA that copied from a sit com "MY NAME IS EARL", He creates a list of all the bad things he has done and wants to repay them back..

I too will now create a list, except by typing them using my notepad in my pc..


And each time, when i finish doing something on that list.. I will stirke it out.. haha..
This way, i won't ever procastinate already.. Or is it i will procastinate to even read this list..