Saturday, September 30, 2006

Quote of the day:
"A person may be better than the other person
in a way but
another person may be better than this person in
another way"


One day, i was with my friend and he said:
LuUeE, you know what, i was talking with my
friend and his mouth stinked really badly.
I think he din brush his teeth.

Hmm, have you ever had a friend who din
brushed his teeth?

Like toxic gas coming out if you ask me.

One day, i drove my friend home and he was
stitting in my car,

and when he spoke, i could smell his breakfast,
lunch and dinner.

Man~ at least eat some minty mouth sweets.

I think breathing second hand breath of a
person who din brush his teeth is the second
cause of lung
cancer other than the main cauze Smoking.

You know what's worse? Its when someone does not brush
their teeth and they are superbly talkative.
My mind will be thinking: COME ON WILL YA,


Second thought of the day..

i have this thought for quite sometime,

It;s between looking good and not looking good.
When a person looks good, all the attention goes to the
good looking one.

When a person looks not that good, it seems that there
is no attention diverted to them at all. NOT AT ALL.


Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Shy le..

No need to be shy..
I know you also like this when you first
started to date. I also same same ba. hahha..
Who knows even more shyer, YES YOU.
You the one sitting looking into
the computer screen.

I guess your blur on what i am saying, look at this video.
hahaha.. then you will know what i mean.

Notti of the day

I was at the canteen with my friend on afternoon,
He was sitting there going to eat the food he just

And he had a bite of the food.

You know what he looks like?
His face change to how he looks like when he
got constipation like that, and wanna ta bian
(Pansai :(Poo poo, yes,
Serene knows this word the most well)

He say, "Ai yer, why this food don't taste like
the picture? "

Me in the back of my mine; WOw! you can actually
taste pictures.

I feel like he is saying this to me; "LuUeE, I waanna ta bian.

"Another situation where you can see people
got constipation is when you are at the gym."

Some of the guys just can't carry the large amount
of weight and yet they want. (made up story)

So when they lift the weight, the whole of their face
wrinkle and look like one month haven pansai yet.



While this guy is so hardworking but yet...

They play mahjong at the water..

Monday, September 25, 2006

Your $$ is mine

Baby Jee's Assets and Liabilities.

SO people say "Oh my mistress is my favorite
asset or my "other" girlfriend with those
water bomb boobies is my fav. asset."
A mistress/girlfriend with water bomb boobs
is not an asset, it's a liability.
You got to pay for their maintenance, if they
need money to go buy LV or Prada or Dior,

Read on...

Hi, i am LuUeE. You know what?

Before that look at this phrase.
"My money is not your money, but your money is my money"

That's very very true.

Baby Jee:
Where's the money i borrow you?
Me: Got meh? I tot you gave me.

Then got some people even more extreme.

Pin: LuUeE, I wanna borrow money.
Very urgent. My finger need to check loctor.(doctor)

LuUeE: Hmm, is it true. Last time i borrow
you money, you are like a magician, my money
sudden dissapear.

Pin: Tis time veli leal(real) liao.

LuUeE: Ok lo, since you so kelian (pity).

What happen to the money, never return, his liao.
And that friend, no need to kelian him next time,
i saw him treating girls to Starbucks. He drive
merce, you know?

hhaha.. Funny clip of the day.


Cool things you can do with your bills.
I've tried with malaysian dollar too, it works.
Be amazed. Read on here...



nope, not my friends, Are they your friend?

Friday, September 22, 2006

I think My butt thinks..

OOo~ Cute gal.. ;
May i kn;ow your number please?

I've been noticing you for some time.
Is that your name? GEISHA

Nice to meet ya Geisha.

Hello, I am LuUeE, today, you know what
happened at school today?

Me: So Kenny, which gal do you like?
Kenny: The gal i like is in my heart.

Me: You bet ya, you like a gal in your heart,
if not at your butt? And so everytime you

POooT~~~ You think of her.

And when the smell comes out, DURIAN Smell,
You will say, Ah.. Baby, The smell of the gal i like.

Meet my friend, TIm, he is the prove that

UFO exist. He has no problems meetin the
babes. Coz, he can freeze them anytime he

TIM, did you do this?
Man, How many times have i told you
not to freeze the humans.

When i need you to freeze my
hot coffee
already used up all your powers.
Man~~ You not my good friend.

And remember that time,]
i wanted you to freeze

my boss butt coz he look at Pretty gals butt
but you don't want. hai~


Note: all of the above is fiction, except for the
conversation i had with my friend.


Thursday, September 21, 2006

How superman makes babies...


How to tell if a guy like a gal

"Guys too reply really quickly to gals they like.
Remember, quick does not mean immediately.
hahaha.. GUYS will ask you for your



My friend i was watching
superman returns,
Then he made such an amazing statement.

He said: "LuUeE, I wonder how did superman make babies?
Probably at lightning speed."


Opps, i did it of the day

I was in a shop, My butt felt itchy, so i went to
a corner. n Scratched my butt,

I turned my head left, AH!!! A girl was just looking
directly at me. ANd i digged my butt.

I pretended to act cool AND LOOKED at her
like nothing happened. haha.. What would do if that
happened to you?


No wonder, why some of the gals i know
love American men.

Girls, If you need to move your stuff
in your house, call this guy.

Men: Hmm, i think i can see 4d number.

I think he has been there for almost one hour

Nope, this guy is not allowed in my toilet,
I clean my toilet for hours a day.

@int it sarcastic of the day

Filipino girls

1st date
It took you forever to get a date with this really hot chick of your dreams (that has a killer bod), but she won't let you even kiss her.

2nd date
She takes you to church and everyone thinks you're really cute and such a nice guy; but you still haven't even kissed her... because she's a "proper girl".

3rd date
You kiss for the first time, but miraculously she ends up pregnant and you have to marry her or her cousins, brothers, uncles, etc... will cut your penis off, and you keep wondering what happened!? Even more miraculous: the kid IS yours!

Korean girls

1st date
She only went out with you cause she hates the steroid-pumped, chauvinistic Korean guys that are always after her.

2nd date
She flirts with all your friends, but ignores you.

3rd date
She dumped you and is going out with a black guy that is 3 times your size (in every way). She doesn't even "remember" who you are, neither do her friends ... so you have no chance of ever going out again with a Korean chick cause they all talked and you were an asshole anyway.

Monday, September 18, 2006

My friend and a Cockroach..


My friend: You know what? Yesterday, i was cleaning my room
and saw a cockroach.

And then suddenly it just dissapear.

I was wonderin, where did it go. And i smelt this strange smell,
like a poop smell.
And so when i looked in the mirror,


+++ Emiily and her friends

"Emiily has some really notti friends.
No wonder Emiily is so notti. "

Oh my, so huge and pointy. Which doctor
did he go and did this surgery from? I would
like to get one too.

Hmm, Is that a guy with long hair?
How come got so many muscles?
Is that Bryan? My friend, also Emiily's friend.
He knows Emiily more. hahaha..

If you run of gas to cook, just invite him to
come over. Except that after he cook the
food for you, it might smell like the food he ate.

Imagine havin such fantastic superpowers.

I think this power is call "One fart faint"

If i hated someone, i just use this power.

And if got a pretty girl in sight, i could also
use this power so she will faint and i will
be there to catch her. mwahhaa..

@int it scarcastic of the day

Chinese women
1st date
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
2nd date
You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens too.
3rd date
You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.

Vietnamese girls
1st date
What first date? ... no such thing.
2nd date
You get married to some girl you've never seen before from overseas.
3rd date
You divorce, get paid $10,000 from her family (minus a percentage from the guy that set you up) ... but only after you've helped them all immigrate to Canada or U.S ... take your pick.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Asset versus Liabilities

Business topic of the day

How Assets differ from Liabilities

SO people say "Oh my ferrari is my most favored asset"A ferrari is not an asset, it's a liability.You got to pay for its maintanence, if people scratch it,you got to pay for the pain, if your dog pooped inside,you gotta ask a proffesional to clean it READ on

Saturday, September 16, 2006

A friend of mine

Sometimes, i hear a friend say: "It happen to a friend of mine"

Hmm.. A friend of yours eh?

Here are two scenarios...

Scenario 1

Hamsap: A friend of mine got such a poor result in the exams
although he studied hard.

Me: Oh, i c. (in the back of my mine, I know it's you)
I believe you, so tell me more (I don believe you)

Hamsap: Yea, i think he din work hard

In my mind: Oh you din work hard.
Who knows Hamsap might be me.

Have you ever, wanted to tell a story that was a humiliating to your friends that happened to you.

YOu can use "my friend" as a cover. This is explained in scenario 2.

Scenario 2
Me: Mike you know what?

"My friend was going to the toilet

and after she came out it was so smelly that,
people from the outside
just said "Who ate durian today

Mike: Who do you think produced such an
elegant smell?

Me: I think it was Laura, When i look
at her face before she went into the toilet,
She looked like the poo poo wanted to
come out of her face.

Her face was also very red.

In my mind: It was me mwahahaa..And yes, durian is
cheap this season.

WHa!!! Everyone oso need to poo poo ba.
Very healthy.


How many times have you heaRd "my friend"?
and it was your friend.

Here's smething that has nothing to do with the use of " my friend"
BEACHthe opposi te sex of a dog??? That's what my friend heard.

Peter: WHAT!!! did you just call me a female dog?

Me: Huh? What? I was asking you if we could go
to the beach.

Peter: Oh! I c. Well. I dont mind you calling me
an animal but not a female one. You could call me
a donkey, a monkey, a dragon, a lion.

Me: PENGSAN (fainted)

Something from RUSSELL PETERS

So an immigrant jus came from another country

His friend asked him:
"Buddy, i know you just came from land so far, SO ARE YOU COMFORTABLE"

Buddy: Nope, I am have not come for table (COMFORTABLE)" , I am here for tea


Japanese women

1st date
She's shy, so you don't get to kiss her at all.
2nd date
She'll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties.
3rd date
You get to have kinky sex with her, then she will bid you sayonara
as that was her fling before getting married to a Japanese man.

Gotten from Jeslin


Never lettin my daughter touch one of these
Aneroxic dolls. Scared later she break it
then i have to keep helping her buy one.

Thursday, September 14, 2006



My name is LuUeE,
Today, i am launching my lastest brainchild
known as

Why do i call it BizChef?
Basically, I know my business ingredients
and i am a chef who cooks up business for you to digest.

Esp the early morning breakfast business.

My current will be used mainly
for comedies.

The new one has many more different genre for the different
audience. To name a few

Body and soul (bout excercises)
Biz Chef Lessons - Learning business the easy way
Other unique articles by other writers

Monday, September 11, 2006

I decoded the codes of the beach PART I

Hello I am LuUeE, i went to the beach and saw something.
I saw signs. I think the Aliens are coming.

The code: This looks like the place where the Aliens send signals to earth. AH!!!!

The truth: But no worries folks, actually this is just the markings of some motobike.

The code: A new discovery was made, Aliens love BUTT. No do not eat my butt, you Aliens.

The truth: It wasn't me and my playful fingers.

The code: Aliens have been in love. The writings on the sand : "SAKyllah Luvz Anndhar"

The truth: Lovers have been on this beach

Part I
of this epic mystery has been Unlocked.
Stay tuned for the final chapter to know if
Aliens have indeed invaded us.

@INT IT Sarcastic of the day

Caucasian women

-1st date-
You get to kiss her goodnight.

-2nd date-
You get to grope all over and make out.

-3rd date-
You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.

Taken from


Takin laughing for granted.
Wait till you see this video.

Vid taken from Youtube

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Wwe Vs Wav


o you like wrestling, wait till you see Wav where you see fat mans in big pampers fighting gals. Darn, Such an unmanly manner. If he wanted to fight, fight with me.

i give Wav Judgement day a

The full post in a couple of days.

This post will be on my new site that i am working
on and launching on in a couple of days.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


Jet Seters The first individuals to wear the latest
fashion products before being released to the market

is a term that was used to describe an international
social group of wealthy people, who organize and participate
in social activities all around the world which are unreachable
to ordinary people.

R you a Jet Setter?
If you have billions of dollars, is a
friend with Famous designers.

If you have your very own Jet plane.
If your daily activities are going to
the most exotic places on earth.

You own hotel chains, Casinos, Apartment.

A pet that spends more $$ what i spend in
a month. Even his toilet is made of gold.

COOL Pic of the day

Is it a bird,

Or a plane,

No, It's my flying friend.
Hahha.. This pic is so cool.

aINT it sarcasitc of the day

HE : Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Frugal is a cool word

Frugal stingy but sounds more unstingy

Me: Darn, your so stingy.
My friend: Darn, your stingy too.

How about this
Me: Your really frugal.
My friend: What's frugal?

Just by replacing the word
frugal you can make stingy sound
cool. Can stinginess be cooler than that?

Some more methods of replacing

Me: So what your father do?
My friend: A janitor.
Me: Wow, A floor technician responsible
maintanence of the whole school.


Own an X box earing now

@int that sarcastic of the day

HE : Your body is like a temple.
SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share.